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Robot Unicorn Attack

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Part 1. Robot Unicorn Attacks


He said: Come out, unclean spirit out of the man. He asked him: What is your name? And he answered and said: My name is Legion cause we are many.

Gospel of Mark

Clyde Ironman. Record number 1:

"...Our father was a great joker, when his wife and part (what a coincidence!) our mother bore him twins he didn't think of anything better to call us both one and the same name. Of course all around made round eyes and asked excitedly:

"Why do you need It?"

And this asshole invariably answered with most that have stupid muzzle face expression:

"What's the difference? They're the same!"

Although I am willing to bet that these questions secretly brought him wildly and amused his greatness... Arrogant bastard!

At the same time remembering those years I cannot deny that sometimes came to the same course of embarrassment but still yet... no, no pardon him!"

Chapter 9. In doG We Trust.

He slept... tossed restlessly, muttered something quite unintelligible then suddenly screamed and woke up. Some time guy lay motionless staring unblinking at the ceiling until he felt someone's lips on his cheek:

"What is really the matter my sweet hare (I hate it when she calls me that!)? Had a nightmare again?" The girl-medic from his unit gently resting her palm on his chest.

"Yes, right." The guy answered vaguely.

"Tell me." She asked, no more she demanded.

"Well, I dreamed of our RED then their BLU then RED again or may have been BLU? And it doesn't matter! The most important thing was that I saw your whole body covered in blood and you called me... whether you meant me in particular I don't know but you said: Help me, Lord God..."

Having said this, he stopped thinking about anything.

"Never mind - it's just a stupid dream! You know that God doesn't exist, don't you?" The medic said with conviction. "And this is what you should do in the future since you are so severely depressed - try to throw your negative emotions onto paper in the form of notes or something like that."

"Yes of course." The guy whispered and turning towards her then pulled girl to himself and kissed her...

"...So it happened like this: there came to me a Jehovah's Witnesses or a Baptist. But it doesn't matter! So he comes to me and says:

"Do you believe in our one God?"

"No." I say. "I don't believe."


"Well, see for yourself, here the dog is running along the street, here there is just sand. It's up to me whether I believe or not - here there is shit... So it is with God."

"So still believe?"

"Oh no you do not understand! if God exists then I believe in him, and the most important thing isn't whether I believe in him but whether he believes in me... What do you say in such cases? What? Some crap? Well, crap... And yet it is that! Who exists? Yes of course the dog..."

Next to him was a traveler's tale telling his twin brother-gunner equipping his gun with the final cartridge and, then gloomily he surveyed the whole motley crew around him: the medic was called Leona, the gunner and his brother, forward - the thrower was completely frostbitten soldier with posttraumatic syndrome in a helmet and a bullet and in addition, flamethrower in his constant mask... no he does not even want to think about this psychopath!

Oh yeah and of course your faithful servant - scout Clyde Ironman.

All of them were part of the mercenaries group Reliable Excavation & Demolition but in spite of the difference of races and religious beliefs there was one important thing that united them - hatred of another mercenaries squad Builders League United.

Now, the whole band was preparing for the coming battle, all prayed to their gods asking them to protect their the most important weapons and ammunition.

The gods didn't have to wait long: here and there in the hands of the soldiers there began to appear a variety of means of mass destruction.

Scout always asked wondered about his faithful sawn-off shotgun and a baseball bat and gun - he preferred not to tempt the gods greed by hoping to get something more in a fair fight. The other things aren't left in the loser: each is received by faith.

And yet the scout did not leave in a dismal state: it seemed that he had already seen it somewhere else. Besides he lied and with three boxes from his fighting girlfriend: Clyde dreamed that they all would die but he didn't say anything to disturb her.

But finally he caught the movement of the enemy locator - battle began!

Red mercenaries entered the territory maps and they all called it moving dashes. Scout, medic and gunner quickly reached a preselected place for an ambush. Hiding, they had to wait.

"Listen and do you not think that all this doesn't make sense?" scout whispered the nurse.

"What are you?" she protested.

"You know, I ask myself all the time the same question: Why? Why do we keep fighting? All my life and I just do that and kill blue, I've lost so many comrades but I don't rejoice losing you too. Have you never imagined a better way out?"

"No I'm surprised. But what about the ideals of our struggle? Yes, I'll be happy to die in battle with these blue bastards!" he even imagined the feverish gleam in her eyes behind the mask and judging by her voice the scout realized that she was very disappointed.

"You won't be happy." he thought wearily.

"What did you say?" she appeared oblivious to the fact that that Clyde had said it out loud.

Machine gunner didn't give him a chance to answer:

"Maybe you are already there until finally shut up..."

He didn't finish - the bullet demolished half his head. They instantly fell to the ground face down, that was very timely: for in their shelter came under a firestorm of lead.

"Reinforcements! Demand reinforcements!" scout shouted into the intercom but no one answered him.

Looking at life indicators he understood everything: Group of RED they had only two.

"We have to go." scout shouted firing from the pursuing blue... and no answer.

Startled from engulfed his cold suspicion he reluctantly turned slowly: nurse lying on her back staring blankly into the sky.

Running up to her, scout heard her whisper bloodied lips:

"Help me, Lord God because it's, God, we are..."

Shouldering her over that it forces he rushed off. She also became the final carry nonsense:

"See, the sky, look, what sky overhead and yet we're never looked at the sky just not expecting that we would shoot out." suddenly she choked. Her throat went blood.

"Well, what are you, dear, patience, it will soon come quite." scout tried to make his voice all the tenderness which was only capable but suddenly he was knocked down explosive shock wave.

Lying on the ground and unable to rise Clyde turned his head in time to see the BLU sniper who looked at scout and pull the trigger...

Clyde Ironman. Record number 2:

"...Shreds torn wool close my moral golden bullet wound from passed right through the eye through the brain and disappearing over the horizon.

It's evening.

Former white suddenly became crimson wool then it blackened but I squeezed its probably in the morning and it cried into a frenzy, tears fell to the ground, suddenly burst into laughter, coughed loudly and tears as stones, and tears as bullets, and tears as torn pieces of cotton wool close my moral wound from golden bullet passed right through the eye through the brain and disappearing over the horizon..."

Chapter 8. Defoliation.

He slept... tossed restlessly, muttered something quite unintelligible then suddenly screamed and woke up. Some time the guy lay motionless staring unblinking at the ceiling until he felt someone's lips on his cheek:

"What is really the matter my sweet hare (I really hate it when she calls me that!)? Had a nightmare again?" The girl-medic from his unit gently resting her palm on his chest.

"Yes, right." The guy answered vaguely.

"Tell me." She asked, no, more she demanded.

"Well, it was a clear sunny day. The sky was cloudless. I walked with you along the creek since we were required to enclose the selected portion of the area with barbed wire. Suddenly I stopped and forcefully grabbed a portion of the barbed wire in my fist. You looked into my eyes then took my hand from which flowed a thin trickle of blood and kissed it.

I wonder if you remembered that incident later when you took me to the rifle site on the same shore:

"Well, let's go, my little hare." A harsh grimace distorted your beautiful face.

I silently obeyed. And already my brother NKVD officer and two soldiers had come to meet us. The soldiers came closer and took me into custody but the officer repeated to you the normal official phrase:

"Thank you for your service, comrade, the motherland won't forget you." And we immediately went into the woods behind the soldiers.

You automatically followed us. When we went into the thicket NKVD said as he turned towards me:

"For desertion from the front you have been sentenced by a military court to suffer capital punishment." And without thinking twice he shot me in the chest.

The expression on his face as he did this didn't change. I like a bag of bones fell to the ground. You came to me and took my hand from which a thin red trickle of blood flowed and kissed it. Then you raised your rifle and turned toward the smoking guns as if nothing had happened to the soldiers. You pulled the trigger. The NKVD was shot and completely blown away. At the same time the officer managed to mutter:

"Breaking..." The body collapsed and the brains fell out.

Roaring like an animal you attacked one of the soldiers and with your nails scratched him in the face. He screamed wildly but it was too late: you managed to claw out both his eyes. The second soldier crept up behind you and moved to head butt you... The day was bright and sunny and cloudless sky clean..."

Having said this, he stopped, thinking about anything.

"Never mind, it's just a stupid dream and nothing more!" The medic said with conviction.

"Yes, of course." The guy whispered and turning towards her pulled girl to himself and kissed her...

"...I rode the tram... or bus, it's not important! So to the food itself, trying to mend the primus, I think its about the female mood of optimism (although some interesting personalities vehemently argue that the former doesn't happen). I have in my hands a lucky ticket to an exorbitant session, then I see a bug crawling on the glass and it's so small that one finger can strangle it. And suddenly I thought: But if someone out there looks at me in the same way as I look at the insect. Then I thought to myself: "Well, to hell it, this bug"... some dirt... We're all insects..." Former "seal" halfheartedly listening another traveler's tale of the former German border guard and his twin brother and equipping his gun with the final cartridge then gloomily he surveyed the whole motley crew around him: the medic was called Leona, his brother German border guard from GSG-9, English paratrooper from SAS, French gendarme from GIGN.

Oh yeah and of course your faithful servant - "seal" Clyde Ironman from SEAL Team 6.

All of them were part of the United Counterterrorism Team - abbreviated to CT. In spite of the difference of race and religious belief, there was one important thing that united them all - hatred of the united terrorist squad huddled together groups like Eastern European Phoenix Faction, Middle Eastern Elite Crew, Swedish Arctic Avengers and South American Guerilla Warfare.

Now, the whole band was preparing for the coming battle, all prayed to their gods asking them to protect their the most important weapons and ammunition.

The gods did not have to wait long: here and there in the hands of the soldiers there began to appear a variety of means of mass destruction.

The "Seal" always worried about his knife and gun - he preferred not to tempt the gods jealousy by hoping to get something more in a fair fight. The other things aren't left to the loser: each is received in faith.

And yet, the seal did not leave in a sad state of mind... But he said nothing to his fighting girlfriend to disturb her.

But finally he caught the movement of the enemy locator - battle began!

CT entered the territory with maps and they all began to dash around. The "seal", medic and the border guard quickly reached a place for an ambush which had been chosen before. They hid themselves and had to wait.

"Listen, there is something I have always wanted to ask you about." The "seal" whispered to the nurse.

"Not the best time." The girl tried to laugh it off.

"There won't be a better time." He said and continued. "Why me? I mean, why did you choose me from amongst all the others?"

"Just because you are the best... of the worst." She didn't turn around and her answer was like a slap in the face and instantly brought him out of himself. He didn't have time to say anything as the conversation went into German:

"Can you shut up now, at least until..."

He didn't have time to finish because the bullet demolished "seal's" half head...

Clyde Ironman. Record number 3:

"...The first mass defoliation every time as the last with the speed of life in spite of death.

It's scared and afraid to fall knowing that you're dying and if you don't know if you don't die?

Presenting the worst alignment as if you are a single and unique, navel of the earth, being the center.

As if life is one and most important thing isn't to die.

But if it's not the main thing in life because it isn't important.

Look yourself in the eye, ask yourself the question: What is the point in this?

And be happy if you are familiar!

Say thanks to invented God who came up with you.

Pray and go again: to sleep, to wake up, to eat, to shit, to fu...n?!

"Love?" they will be answer for you and instinctively crossed themselves, frantically swallowing, whispered,- here it is - happiness?

And only the first mass defoliation each new time as the last with the speed of its own life contrary to someone else's death..."

Chapter 7. Instruction To Surviving.

He slept... tossed restlessly, muttered something quite unintelligible then suddenly screamed and woke up. Some time guy lay motionless staring unblinking at the ceiling until he felt someone's lips on his cheek:

"What is really the matter my sweet hare (Oh, mother fu...n! I so hate it when she calls me that!)? Had a nightmare again?" The girl-gladiator (so, he was gladiator too) is gently resting her palm on his chest.

"Yes, right" The guy answered vaguely.

"Tell me" She asked, no, more she demanded.

"Well, I stood in front of the hotel entrance. Next to me left and right there were you and my brother with his constant cigar (Grandpa Freud said, didn't he? Sometimes a cigar is just a cigar, oh, yes, of course!). You both were silent but in your eyes was clearly please that I didn't go anywhere and tidied up with you out of here in good time. But I had to go. Wordlessly I

entered into the building and took the elevator to the top floor where I found needed a room then broke down the door and got inside. I found in the cache all that I came for: money, weapons, ammunition.

Suddenly there was a scream street. Rushing out to the balcony I saw an unpleasant picture: brother breathlessly lying in a pool of his own blood and you head to the oversight of the barrel of the gun in the hands of a thug slanted in strict black suit and sunglasses with a goatee who smiled contemptuously. Still more like he there were the same clones-some copy machine victims only clean-shaven hurriedly rushed to the hotel. I rushed like the bullet to cache fleeting glance in the mirror and seeing that there is a high bald man in a black business suit and red tie but time to enjoy a longer hadn't anymore. Grabbing two silver pistols with silencers and several grenades, I stood outside the door and waited - I had to wait a short time: couple of clones soon burst into the room but I immediately shot them from the both barrels. The rest were smarter and hid in the corridor - to there I replied a couple of grenades.

Carefully looking into the corridor I satisfied with that I saw and was already gone to the fire escape when I saw staring at me wide-eyed young woman in pink nightgown sticking out from behind the door of the neighboring room. Realizing that I had sketched her she immediately slammed the door. I didn't wanted for special ceremony and standing in front of her room I passed the door with my feet... And I was right in front of me looking in the chest barrel shotgun:

"It was necessary to fasten armor" - I thought before the charge of buckshot delivered my body from the room completely..."

Having said this, he stopped, thinking about anything.

"Never mind - it's just a stupid dream and nothing more!" The gladiator said with conviction.

"Yes, of course." The guy whispered and turning towards her pulled girl to himself and kissed her...

"...Instructions for laboratory work using experimental mice: Take the first paragraph - Mouse. Second paragraph - resulting mush...

Since we're talking about mice... and do you know what is common between frogs and mice? Yes, of course, I know that you don't know, don't picking - it was a rhetorical question! I'll tell you:

In practical classes in physiology for each pair of students allocated one frog (It comes from the three-liter bottle thus it is necessary to be careful otherwise it will jump across the lab), next it wrapped in a handkerchief peeking out so that only the snout (at this point the frog eyes are so eyes - just very true eyes in the world).

Experience 1. Take special needle and enter it under the animal's skin to the spinal cord in the transition region of the head in the trunk on the back paralyzing amphibian. Convinced of its immobility detachable one leg muscle tissue and nerves connected to the spinal cord and spend experience with conducting electrical impulses.

Experience 2. take scissors and cut frog upper jaw with the skull, eyes and ears leaving the lower jaw for which body is hung on the hook and draw experience from the response to acid exposure.

When you ask what is the mouse?

And despite the fact that at the very moment when we introduce a needle into the spinal cord or scissors cut the upper jaw to the skull eyes and ears peep frogs begin to cry as these same mice. After all the madness as gravity - you should only push. And it isn't in mice or frogs trouble even in a case against the people and it's not that why, when, and where we are cruel, but the fact that we are cruel because we think, believe and know that we CAN..." Former Space Marine (oh yeah, because there are no former Marines) listened with half an ear next traveler's tale of his twin brother equipping his last grenade. Having loaded bother charging the extreme ultra chuck he glumly looked all around his motley crew: girl gladiator Leona - favorite weapon shotgun, gladiator rocket launcher formerly known as his brother, Gladiator Ranger - lover plasma and laser guns and other sundry other gladiators once had so proud names like Sergeant, Instructor Crush, Razor, Mayor, Angel, Patriot, Hunter... All of them are now part of the nameless legion. Oh yeah and of course your faithful servant - gladiator-thrower Clyde Ironman who was space mariner at past.

Several centuries ago, a mysterious race Vadrigar built Eternal Arena place for gladiatorial combat is entertaining Vadrigar. Nothing is known about these creatures, except that they like to watch the slaughter and dust of battle. They go into the arena gladiators best of all time. In order to win the gladiator was required not only to survive but also to defeat their rivals.

Vadrigar fights cannot win even death fallen warrior immediately regenerated and returned back into the fray perhaps even more experienced.

When the dust settled and the blood of the soldiers continued their fight entertaining Vadrigar. But only the strongest of the gladiators will go further until he or she meet with Xaero - champion Eternal Arena.

They were all Gladiators but despite the difference of races and religious beliefs was one important thing that unites them all: hatred of the race Vadrigar and in particular of Xaero.

But finally, and the battle began! Gladiators entered the territory maps, all called it and immediately began to destroy each other. Marine didn't have time to look like a map survived only two: he and Leona.

"I love you too, dear!" Marine shouted from behind cover in response to her guns on the volley.

"It is a pity that I can't answer you the same" Fun girl answered.

"How is it that?" He asked.

"Well, for example why do you love me?"

"Why? It's no cause and effect - it is just that you have so that's somehow like in the song: I love you for the fact that I love you."

"No, I don't want it, and I can't, and I don't know how to love and if I will fall in love only for something specific."

"Wait what does that mean?" Marine tried to think. "Here you are with me, right? Now, but if suddenly some simpleton who will be better than me: smarter or stronger, so, there you go away from me to him so that if?!"

"Eeyup." Voice clearly betrayed a girl smile.

"Oh, you..." Marine muttered furiously all the while bypassing her shelter from the flank, and jumped now turned the corner... and right before looking him in the chest barrel shotgun:

"I love you for what you don't love me" - he thought before the charge of buckshot delivered his body out completely...

Clyde Ironman. Record number 4:

"...Since childhood, I've always liked only those games in which I can show individuality of consciousness. On the contrary the same games where it's necessary to depict anyone was caused in me aversion:

"Hey, look at me - I am Batman!"

"No, look at me - I am Superman!"

"No, look at you - you are moron!"

Why should I play the role of someone? This is somehow limited, isn't this? I'm not so poor and defective to experience someone else's life. I have enough my personal life. In this GAME where I could be myself always attracted me the opportunity to create some unique image and to feel something original creator - is this not happiness? After all, if you don't have an opportunity to be yourself then why are you existing?.."

Chapter 6. Delighting Dolphin Dream.

He slept... tossed restlessly, muttered something quite unintelligible then suddenly screamed and woke up. Some time guy lay motionless staring unblinking at the ceiling until he felt someone's lips on his cheek:

"What is really the matter my sweet hare (Oh... Spit out!)? Had a nightmare again?" Asked the girl (Just MY girlfriend and it doesn't matter at this time what her name is. Maybe Cleopatra, or Zarina, Diva? Ophelia? Lilith? Ambrosia?! And the form in which she appeared before me now is especially irrelevant: a woman, cyborg, robot, unknown critter is just not important) from his gently (and maybe not from my competitor but from my rather hostile or even neutral) unit (Clan? Squad? Sects?) resting her palm on his chest.

"Yes, right." The guy answered vaguely.

"Tell me." She asked, no, more she demanded.

"The sky opened flower embellishment clearing star. The Ocean Dream licks old wounds without causing pain. Rustling sound of the surf like a kiss between land and sea.

I sit on the shore at the piano and play "Dolphin Delight" giving delight to (who would have thought that?) the dolphin splashing in the waves and singing along with the music.

"What are you singing about?"

"About my dream."

"What is your dream?"

"If I tell you that the dream won't come true."

For a while we were both silent, each thinking about personal things.

"Well let it be so. If I dream about that tomorrow, you won't kill me."

"What are you talking about? I will never hurt you!"

"Life devours life. That is the normal procedure."

"I would never hurt you" - then I thought and when the next day came I could no longer find the dolphin. Never.

It's cloudy but there is no rain in the territory of the concentration camp. All the inmates continue to work, constantly on the move to stop - Death. Totally normal behavior. Suddenly my brother the camp commander comes up to me in person and with a cheerful smile says:

"By the decision of the superior command you're up for an amnesty and a subsequent release." And continuing to smile he starts to get out his service weapon.

Realizing he threat to me, I suddenly rushed forward and forced down the commandant. I gave him a blow in the face and tried to run away. However, I tripped over and fell on another prisoner, I jumped again but fell to the ground cause of the commandant bullet hit.

"Life is shit." Commandant spits out blood and goes away.

"Life is wonderful" - I have more time to think now than before...

At the end of a dark corridor there are lights on. I'm going to light until I leave the room. In the middle of it there stands a festive table and behind it there are officers in uniforms and ladies sitting in evening dresses with valuable. There at the head of the table is a chair behind it is a large antique mirror. As I approach the mirror I see the reflection of the Fuehrer who turned to the guests. He took a glass into his hand and I like the newly-born leader of the party said:

"I would like to tell you one funny incident in my life. It happened when I was commandant of the concentration camp..."

Having said this, he stopped, thinking about anything.

"Never mind, it's just a stupid dream and nothing more!" The girl said with conviction.

"Tell me one thing: why we are here at this time?"

"And what do you mean: Why? I'm surprised by you! Because we must to participate in Unreal Tournament, of course!"

"Oh, yeah, in Unreal Tournament... And how could I forget?" The young man lamented and then turning pulled her to himself and pressed girl showering her with kisses. His hands played with her body as if it were a finely tuned instrument...

"...Once upon a time there lived a Clinical Cesar. He was very gracious and allowed the Insane Inquisitor to declare a witch hunt and crusade against the infidels. during this one Warm Witch wanted to thank Clinical Cesar and send down to his daughter Pretty Princess Devilish Dragon which in turn took her away. No, well, as simply it stole: Everyone seen the dragon flew to Princess's chambers and then it was obvious that the same kidnapped.

Clinical Cesar issued a decree and it ordered all the knights to save his daughter, but all the knights had been sent on the crusade. Then he ordered a dozen of his personal guards, headed by Chic Chevalier find at least one. And they did it! They combed the taverns of the kingdom and soon brought in a drunken asshole one. There was a kindly Knight who could do the following five things perfectly: He was able to fence, to ride, to play checkers, to believe in God and serve the image of Pretty Princess.

And now, a baker's dozen mercenaries rush at full speed to overcome the impassable swamps and jungles, the inaccessible mountain peaks and the insurmountable abyss until they finally got to the abandoned castle where the beast was hiding Beauty. When they reached the throne room, the warriors beheld, with admiration and awe, the great Devilish Dragon guarding the Pretty Princess upon the throne. And they fought for fifteen years and one day while the only ones left alive: there were Chic Chevalier and Kindly Knight. Suddenly the Guard commander contrived to sever the finger of the monster's paw. The Devilish Dragon roared in pain and before the eyes of everyone a miracle began to take place - finger began to decrease in size until turned into a human. At the same time the kindly Knight crept back to the monster and, with one mighty blow, pierced its heart.

"Stay, Kindly Knight!" Chic Chevalier said but it was too late.

"What have you done, you moron?" Guard commander lamented and he suddenly heard a loud girlish laughter.

"Oh, you, bitch, now you will get some." Chic Chevalier croaked heading towards Pretty Princess exposing the blade.

"And damn you, what are you gong to do?" Kindly Knight called out to him.

"What I have to do." When the Guard Commander said it, he was already swinging his sword in the direction of the girl but suddenly he fell to the ground and the back of the blade pierced a comrade. When she saw this turn of events Pretty Princess went to the Kindly Knight and passionately sucked his lips with a long passionate kiss. Holding hands they went away together. A dozen royal guards bodies, all bloodied, were left lying in the throne room. The corpses of the Chic Chevalier and the Pretty Princess were there also. She was transformed by the Warm Witch into a Devilish Dragon in retaliation for Clinical Cesar and Insane Inquisitor..." He listened with half an ear next traveler's tale of his twin brother and colleague (Partner? Adversary? And what's a difference?) equipping his current weapon.

"Fuck it all away!" Clyde exclaimed and shot him who was in the nearest party next competition is not a life but death tore him to pieces.

Everyone else around him reacted instantly and now he's torn to shreds but for a long time it sounded like a crazy laugh in every their ears...

Clyde Ironman. Record number 5:

"...Awareness of the fact that every creature's life on this planet is extremely ephemeral like and the shell(single cell) is where I concluded. The fact that my own will is so fragile and insignificant always made me mad, evil, fierce with an unquenchable hatred. Paranoia is like worms inside me, a winepress nullifying all my ideas and undertakings. Why? What's fucking sense in this? Someone will say: "Self-development". You live and learn and ,yeah, you'll die fool, heh. Self-development will be over and therefore doesn't make sense. Someone will say that it makes sense to leave descendants to continue the race and other nonsense. Well, yes of course! But it's not me and a completely alien to me the other person with whom I except hereditary information most likely won't be something more than nothing. Certainly. It's not a solution too. Someone betrayed hedonism but it will eventually get tired of this here living in a fu...nny nature is prone to satiety. It isn't an option. Go to the monastery to endure the hardships and privations perishable earthly existence. We will say together: we don't need it! Oh, the unbearable lightness of being - it's look like just some frustration.

Omnipresent someone will plant his hands and say: "Well, take it and then kill yourself against a wall or drink poison, stupid author!" If it were so simple... Even a tiny assumption punishment in the form of extension re-existence immediately cools my ardor and drives rags pissing away all thoughts about SUICIDE and all that remains - this GAME. To play for complete surrender, happily, unrestrained. After all, if things don't make sense that there's at least a story and it's something. That's just for the sake of traveler's tales and worth living, at least to me..."

Chapter 5. God Played.

He slept... tossed restlessly, muttered something quite unintelligible then suddenly screamed and woke up. Some time guy lay motionless staring unblinking at the ceiling until he felt someone's lips on his cheek:

"What is really the matter my sweet hare (No comments...)? Had a nightmare again?" The girl-medic from his unit gently resting her palm on his chest.

"Yes, right." The guy answered vaguely.

"Tell me." She asked, no, more she demanded.

"Well, smoking my pipe and blowing smoke rings I as head physician United Secret Social Rehabilitation Central Clinic of Crank Protecting & Serving Using (abbreviated to USSR CC of the CPSU) dictating to you as my secretary a new recipe for invigorating euthanasia to unit of hell population:

Bread's Privacy.

Due to the increasing incidence of bread crusts in ejection chutes and complaints of the population of the Neva river city on the poor quality of roads namely the presence of ditches and muddy puddles

I command:

From now on all citizens of the Neva river city to buy fresh bread and to throw bread crusts in the garbage disposal that in turn will be used to fill ditches and muddy puddles that according to experts significantly improve the quality of roads.

Violation of an order that is eaten by the citizens of the Neva river city bread crusts would be considered treason and is punishable by capital punishment up to execution..."

Having said this, he stopped, thinking about anything.

"Never mind, it's just a stupid dream and nothing more!" The medic said with conviction.

"Yes, of course." The guy whispered and turning towards her pulled girl to himself and kissed her...

"...God played. His all-seeing eye with delight and awe as sweetly observed on territory entrusted to Him to grow and develop the city and country. But then God was bored. He realized: it needs a war! And He at once became better living. God chose a people and with the help of priests led them to war against infidels. But what is? Infidels didn't only incorrect surrendered to His chosen people of God, but also drove this most people in the neck but kicks ass!

God had to intervene: He sent on wrong kinds penalty. And while the pathetic little people rebuild their city God used magic spell and began an arms race.

However, this time the wrong nerve to oppose God. Then it naturally has nothing left to Him but to build an atomic bomb and bomb, bomb, bomb...

And all would be well but suddenly and unexpectedly on meanly territory entrusted to Him it began to appear ozone hole, acid rain, desertification, greenhouse, nuclear winter. God was sad. Then He forced His people to build "the Ark" spaceship and sent its far away into deep ... space to explore new horizons distance, to enslave infidels and make another big set of good deeds.

God in heaven turned irritation computer, scored in His vexation large nail and threw the disc out the window. Then He sat down at his desk and began to write pseudo-scientific work on "Our whole life is a game, or what is it that is not an easy job to be God".

God played. His all-seeing eye with delight and awe watched fondly as entrusted to Him insignificant little man writes a pseudo-scientific work on "Our whole life is a game, or what is it that is not an easy job to be God".

God played..." He listened with half an ear another his twin brother gunner traveler's tale equipping his trophy "Walter" then turned to the teller and asked:

"Listen and where are we now actually?"

"What's that mean: "where"?" The gunner was taken aback. "At the front... on the battlefield... of confrontation to these as... fascist invaders."

"And what's year now?" It didn't prompt as if nothing had happened he asked.

"Forty second." Gunner responded cautiously and even slightly moved.

"The battlefield... Then 1942? Perfect!" Exclaimed happily man and put a gun to his temple shaved and pulled the trigger...

Clyde Ironman. Record number 6:

"...Subjective Unique Individual Ceremonial Irrational Destructive Experiment. Way of the Samurai is very similar for loneliness of tiger. We lost our war. We were taught: Life is suffering cause of suffering is desire, so, liberation from desire is path to salvation. But when we receive salvation and with it the freedom it overflowed and we poured over the edge. We simply have nowhere to put it became. And we thought (a fatal mistake!) and what is meaning of this? No, of course there is the personal meaning for each individual, each (mother fu...n!) personality but by and large, if objectively look the part: no, because no point in all of this. There is no point in all of this!

But back to the freedom: when we found freedom from desires, we were no longer afraid (I realize now that this from us and sought) but with this it's unbearable waiting for the end when you're still waiting to become unbearable. Try it for yourself this bittersweet of bushido: wake up with the idea and willingness that today you can die and go to bed with the thought that tomorrow you can and should die.

And all that kept us from getting to get up out of the trenches in our last desperate growth is our loved ones, our love for them: our favorite are very vulnerable.

And at such moments inevitably you begin to wonder: And would be easier if they had never existed in the world, hadn't they?

(Background song An Orphan sounds)

No worse punishment to live too long

I hate waiting

I look at life through the eyes of the wolf

I will not die slowly

The night sighed, she was

Death teased, she waited

Life played, she left

And it will never return

I am an orphan, I am an orphan

My war ended

My last game

I am an orphan, I am an orphan

I can not die

But I can not live either...

(Background song Endless Melancholy sounds)

Bastards die and good people too

Patients die and doctors too

Cats die, mice die

Worms die in a pile of shit

All die...

And here I am writing on the back of fallen comrade sitting in a burning tank falls out of a dive bomber was shot down:

We LoSt OuR wAr (ApOlOgIzE fOr UnEvEn HaNdWrItInG).

(Background song Hara-kiri sounds)

The only way for honest guys

It take a gun and kill everybody

Or commit suicide

If taken seriously this world...

But intuitively sense dictates that you are right even if you're wrong you know: No, it's better way than to wait:

(Background song When we at war sounds)

When we at war

When we are at war

To meet the bullets fly

On my black horse...


P.S. "But we have one goal - SUICIDE!.."

Chapter 4. Lion's Heart.

He slept... tossed restlessly, muttered something quite unintelligible then suddenly screamed and woke up. Some time guy lay motionless staring unblinking at the ceiling until he felt someone's lips on his cheek:

"What is really the matter my sweet hare (But to me it's already beginning to like)? Had a nightmare again?" The girl (as he she was a participant of the project Spartan-2) gently resting her palm on his chest.

"Yes, right." The guy answered vaguely.

"Tell me." She asked, no, more she demanded.

"I sit at the controls of the spacecraft and think about you while experiencing strange sensations and long forgotten, despite the fact that I like the android top human evolution is now alien to any expression of emotions and feelings.

And it all started with that damn baby bald monkeys adopted you.

At first I didn't mind because the meat would still human babies the most gentle and sweet in the world unless of course believe "the Chinese people's encyclopedia about tasty and healthy food", and although I didn't have a need for organic food nevertheless not indulge in from time to time to enjoy the taste food program (thanks to the taste buds).

But then something strange happened: you're not going to eat it.

"Crazy." I thought and putting the ship on autopilot then I went to my cabin lay on the bed and continued to remember.

My new species was all just picked up a pair of supercomputer on individual characteristics without any nonsense like love, friendship and other forms of parasitism.

Union formally registering, we went to our honeymoon on the third planet SS to taste the sweetest delicacy from all that I had to try as you were here for the first time.

Once our program would merge into a single whole consciousness and thereby gave offspring in each other, we both just cease to exist but...

Instead, when I cut the whole settlement you took the only surviving baby to be raised.

"Indifferently fool." I decided for myself.

After that case you completely lost your head and only nursed a child with this periodically tossing it to people so they fed him. Eventually I got tired of all this madness, and I killed a baby.

Killed and ate in front of you.

Thus, I expected to fix things when suddenly came the belated notice of intergalactic Office: supercomputer is given failure!


Leona was patient escaped from a psychiatric clinic and forged documents.

I naturally law-abiding citizen Empire had no choice but to surrender to the authorities my wife. A further consequence of the Court. Verdict. Execution.

Now I began to understand your nonsense: "if people are endowed with reason and conscience, they allegedly live and cannot be eaten". People! It's over.

Now to my new experiences added another sense of hatred. I steered to the third planet SS with a single purpose: to kill all the people.

Approaching the bio-computer and attaching electrodes to the head asked "Delete memories". The last thing I saw on the monitor fading going to sleep before the long flight was only one word:


Having said this, he stopped, thinking about anything.

"Never mind, it's just a stupid dream and nothing more!" The girl said with conviction.

"Yes, of course." The guy whispered and turning towards Leona pulled her to himself and kissed the girl...

"...One day I decided to cross the road on the green light and immediately fell under the wheels.

And now that was once me bit by bit collects crumbs consciousness, fragments of understanding the universe killed smeared on the asphalt to non-existent soul of puzzles turned out pretty picture suitable for surrounding my new behavior program imparts fraction sense justifying a miserable existence under the slogan "Life".

"But what about the death?!" Someone will exclaim with indignation forgetting to take medication for insomnia that eventually leads to an abandoned loneliness and it makes a hell of schizophrenia afterwards to save a stand alone complex who hated by a college of equally ugly monotonous legionnaires mutually hating them so that it's contagious and he has been sick terminally and this in turn a little sad that so crying with laughter remembering earthly spirited wonderful and so vain that simply does not matter as it was and it will be but it's important as it's only really of himself and who "I am" is yours and what comes out of you from the inside when you absolutely don't expect it but just imagine all this in a dream..." "Spartan" halfheartedly listening another traveler's tale of his twin brother and equipping his gun. Suddenly before his eyes took some incomprehensible ripples.

Guy tried blinked and it even seems at first helped but there appeared before him a rectangular "window" with a list of some unknown:

Invisible Mode

God Mode

Infinite Ammo

Give All

Infinite Clip




Sometime a Spartan just stood silently in prostration and then if waking from a long sleep roused himself from his pocket of his tactical pants nowhere holding of portable rocket launcher M19 SSM «Jackhammer» and turned to face comrades stood with his back to the nearest wall taking aim at them with his weapon. At some time in the air hung heavy silence which first broke girl:

"So, what you Covenant hell, do you think you're doing?"

"I want to offer YOU to go with me." As if nothing had happened the guy said putting special emphasis on "you".

"And WHERE is it if it's not a secret?" She asked sarcastically imitating him.

"This is absolutely not important thing away from here."

"But what ..." He did not let her finish her killing:

"But what "what"? "Our struggle, ideals"? You're going to ask about this, aren't you? You see, my dear, all this is nonsense and doesn't play now and the first of way too no role there where we go."

"Come on, guys, kill him - he is Covenant spy!" The girl exclaimed and the first pre-opened heavy fire dived for cover. All other trace and joined together echoed her.

Here are just a miracle but "spy" absolutely had no reaction to flying directly through him bullets and calmly stood with curiosity and some regret looking at their pathetic attempts to cause him any harm though. Gradually shooting came to naught.

"This is ghost!!!" Someone yelled hysterically.

"Ghost" sneered:

"You know, I won't even shoot at you." And turned to the wall took a step passing through it when he was suddenly stopped by a desperate cry of recovered girl:

"Stop! By what are you deserve it? Why you? So, you're better than me or him or even there him, aren't you?"

"Hey!" Hurt and unhappy "even there he" cried.

"Absolutely nothing. I'm just incredibly lucky today." Former Spartan said without turning around and added before disappear completely. "Farewell, Leona."

Some long moment everybody stared at the wall where he dissolved.

"And what's next?" Someone sounded one question tormented all of them.

"But perhaps nothing." She wearily answered absently. The girl continued looking blindly into the space in front of the window void,- "he will likely hijack rescue capsule and shuttle explode on it through hyperspace jumping into the unknown place but it gave him one known".

As if to confirm her words siren wailed raised alarm. Not wanting to look at the ship from flying off the shuttle she silently trudged down the hallway away from the crowded cabin window comrades even thought not allowing them to show her momentary weakness in the form of tears choked her hated:

"Farewell, my little hare..."

Clyde Ironman. Record number 7:

"...In the surface one-day volume of garbage H2O in the middle of police and another trash at the deepest sky there was heart in the form of bread lay on Wheat street.

And I passed by just looking at the same stuffy colored lawn one whole so gray and inconspicuous, serious and unpleasant.

But there was no one to turn me into a bird when I crushed its by my boots so as not to stain my feet and make me grow a new heart in the form of bread.

But nobody grayer my mother hair and did not take her soul and not snatched Mirror of her eyes and had not escaped with a tear on her cheek.

Only the heart in the form of bread lay on Wheat street and swimming in the waves of asphalt it carelessly smiled in response to the very unscrupulous sleepless sun which is still unable to find by the wind; to the very mighty wind that chasing pack that same black clouds; to small black cloud against the blue sky which does and do not bear; to that same bottomless homeless sky diving into that so nice to fly.

Heart smiled as if it knew that something unprecedented unknown invisible for us so as the puppy affectionately and slyly playful and carefree smiled in response heart in the form of bread on Wheat street just before eating it, no, no, no on whim but only from the cold need to apologize in advance yourself telling us:


Chapter 3. Cyborg Justice.

Orbital remote monitoring system of fully robotic planet-colony mining minerals recorded space shuttle. It caught in the zone of asteroids flying around the planet and crashed on the surface.

Intelligence report.


Human Male

Physical condition:

Loss of all function

Mental condition:



Memory erasure and transplant






Access: Organic systems...

Locomotion - Connect

Sensory - Connect

Organic connections complete

Unit #127 activated

#127 memory erase sequence
















"#127 begin work sequence comply!!!"

"To all units:

#127 has malfunctioned.

Seek and destroy!.."

Pаrt 2. Rоbоt Uniсоrn Аttасks... Аnd Wins!

Chapter 2. Surprise.

All the gold in the world won't be enough

To buy yourself happiness,

All the castles and banks won't be enough

To satisfy your passion,

Imperturbable Wanderer

Who has no fear of hell

You are Man without Name,

I'm scared near you.

You woke up early today

And you went out in a big way

But immediately all the missile units

Declared combat alert.

And if comet appears someday

You will stop it by your gaze

You are Man without Name,

I'm happy with you

Take me away, take me away

To the edge of the earth

From the rat race

From the rat race

And if there is an edge there

We jump down from it

While we fly

We will fly

We forget that life

All women in the world won't be enough

To accept your affection,

All arrows and bullets of armies

Couldn't hurt you.

Unconquered Prisoner

Who doesn't look at the guards,

You are Man without Name,

Nude man without luggage

Take me away, take me away

To the edge of the earth

From the rat race

From the rat race

And if there is an edge there

We jump down from it

While we fly

We will fly

We forget that life

Ilya Kormiltsev "Man without Name".

Canterlot's Herald:

"Aliens in Ponyville! Authorities hide!!!

Why does Pony in Black do nothing?

Why does Princess Celestia keep silence?

What is Princess Luna watching for?

Every thing is damned by Discord!

In the end why is Rainbow Dash resentful?

About these and many other things you will NOT read in this issue.

And yet why is Rainbow Dash resentful?"

"No, hoof! Well who would have thought that now I have hooves?"

This is quite an obvious thought. Nevertheless the silver unicorn spent a very long time plunged into a stupor ("Oh, yes, of course, I have now also a horn!") with a rainbow mane and tail, and now standing near a small lake (No, well, why a lake? Maybe even a lake or a pond... may be a pond? Well, near a large... puddle) with a mixture of curiosity he was busily reflecting as he stood on the footpath leading to the woodland.

At last, an exciting experience he was tired as he looked around but it was not unusual to find that everything as always looked the same: the same blue sky again the same forest and the same air, the same water and only a vague suspicion about the fragility of the environmental idyll. "Well, well, now only a little more time to wait and that's all, and that will be quite enough." He waited. Absolutely nothing came.

"Well, okay, let's now look at what this body is capable of at least." And with this thought the Unicorn leaned back and stood on his hind legs. The new shell was surprisingly docile and more comfortable standing on his hind legs and he stood as if for him it was a perfectly natural state.

"So, here I am. The anthropomorphic features do not end up lost." The unicorn noted with satisfaction.

"Well, what else can you do?"

As if in answer to his unspoken question the rays of sun from behind a cloud touched him and he immediately felt an extraordinary burst of energy as if to rush headlong from place.

And he did it without thinking twice.

Fields dreaming in carpeted reverie

Beautiful horses in hobbling caress

Mane isn't shorn and hoof isn't shod

By will and destiny they are married

Nikolai Emelin "Carpet Field"

This normal sunny day didn't bode anything unusual for the residents of Ponyville (really, can anything extraordinary happen in a town populated by an English-speaking pony? Don't tell my horseshoe!).

All going about their business (but there is some vacation work plowing on weekends, and only you know, don't you?) but the old bouncy ponies, good friends gathered together again on their favorite meadow fort the weekly walk.

Purple alicorn and the princess in one person (muzzle?) Twilight Sparkle and her owl Owlowiscious (yeah, yeah, even titled persons rarely allow themselves to relax with old friends), pink pony-pastrycook Pinkie Pie and toothless alligator Gummy, orange farmer pony Applejack in her invariable cowboy hat and dog Winona, white unicorn designer Rarity together with cat Opalescence, yellow pegasus... (m, vet?) Fluttershy and rabbit Angel.

"And y am I never surprised by the lack of Rainbow Dash?" angrily muttered Applejack. "I suppose she sleeps sluggishly and excessively but still no rear hooves. No wonder that her pet is a turtle!"

"Why are you like that, AJ?" Fluttershy asked timidly. "Certainly she had reason to linger."

"Fluttershy is right, Applejack." Rarity joined in the conversation. "And you for no reason are talking about Tank so unkindly. Even though I do not know why Rainbow is not now here with us but..."

"Oh, and I know, I know." rattled Pinkie Pie suddenly. "She is absent for one simple reason and I still do not understand why you, girls, have not guessed this."

"Pinkie Pie!" was seldom upset. "Well, where are your manners? Did you never learn that it is not good to interrupt others? Have patience and wait for your turn." White unicorn continued to complain of pink pony while the culprit untroubled was off somewhere whistling a well-known song.

"Wait, and what is that we have to guess?"

"Silly, it's so simple: Dashie made a surprise for us!"

"What kind of surprise?" asked Twilight Sparkle.

"Well, of course, Sonic rainboom!"

"O...K... And let me ask you: what made you think so?" asked the fashionista in an insinuating malicious voice.

Pinkie Pie giggled and said nothing. Surrounded by her friends, she silently pointed her hoof somewhere up behind. Everypony turned around just in time to be caught unawares by the shock wave from the sound barrier which had just been broken. This in turn surrounded the pony on the ground and made their manes and tails quiver. No one got a load of that bute the truth immediately wailed in the corporate style of drama queen Rarity. All their attention was focused on this point in the sky where they could see the flaming arrow.

"Well, and what are all of you here doing without me?" suddenly the voice came close to the ear of Pinkie Pie. It was such a familiar perky boyish voice that she couldn't mistake it for anyone else's.

"Oh, hi, Dashie. Nothing special, we just look at you creating Sonic rainboom in the sky for us."

This phrase of pink pony had the effect of a bombshell. It seemed to shake every thing out of drowsiness. All other pony lightning unfolded as if afraid that Rainbow Dash would evaporate in the air. But, of course, it didn't happen. Blue pegasus with rainbow mane and tail as if nothing had happened was standing next to Pinkie Pie. Although, "as if nothing had happened" is probably an understatement. Although, Rainbow Dash expressed it mildly a degree of puzzlement was still there As well, as everyone else.

"Aaaahhh!" Pinkie Pie's famous cry broke the silence. "Rainbow Dash, you're here! But you can't be here right now because you are flying up in the sky and doing Sonic rainboom. It can only be you there in the sky, because only real Rainbow Dash can break the sound barrier and retain the rainbow ribbon cable. That means that you are not Rainbow Dash! Rainbow Dash, you aren't Rainbow Dash, are you? Then who is Rainbow Dash, Rainbow Dash? If you are not Rainbow Dash, Rainbow Dash, then I am Rainbow Dash! But if I'm Rainbow Dash then who are you?!"

Apparently this angry interrogative tirade brought Pegasus to life as she shook her head irritably then picked up the fallen jaw and cried:

"Pinkie Pie, don't be a fool! You know perfectly well that I'm... me."

"Prove it!!!"

Rainbow Dash momentarily taken aback quickly gathered her thoughts and smiled enigmatically:

"As you wish, girlfriend of mine! How about I tell everyone else that once on your birthday you would like to exchange all of us for a bucket of turnips, sack of flour, stones and..."

"Oh, Dashie, this is really you!" Pinkie Pie hugged Rainbow Dash tightly.

All the other ponies but Blue Pegasus laughed at this sight.

"There is still one serious question on the agenda: Who is there in the sky now making MY branded iridescent pirouettes? That's what I now going to find out!"

Rainbow Dash said this sternly while Pegasus about to jump up behind a rainbow trail as she stopped by the pink pony.

"Dashie, no, you can't catch up with him whoever it might be!"

"Why not?"

"Silly, think about, it is flying faster than the speed of sound. You will only waste your energy and will not be able to keep up."

"And how do you know, Pinkie Pie?"

"You are so funny silly, Twilie, it"s obvious!"

"But what do we do now?"

"I'll catch up with him!" pathetically said Pinkie Pie posturing like Superman and thrusting one hoof.

"You?!" chorused all ponies.

"Yes, it is me." pink pony agreed with them and before anyone could say anything to object, she sped away and disappeared over the hill leaving her friends discouraged and staring in the direction of her piink track.

"Say, Dash." Applejack whispered to Pegasus. "You slept late today, didn't you? That was the reason why you didn't walk the pets, wasn't that?"

That question was repeated and then Rainbow Dash suddenly agreed:

"Yes, of course. And what's wrong?"

"Nothing, I very simply wanted to ask..."

This new body was... AWESOME!

He got up to a gallop along the forest trail and rapidly gained speed. The silver unicorn could not have foreseen that it could move so fast. All sensors were barely able to keep up with accessing the information about potential obstacle in the surrounding area. The information was conveyed only at the last moment. The message about the sudden stump that was in his path came too late. There wasn't enough time so unicorn had decided to just jump over a snag and unexpectedly found himself t a height of several tens of meters above the ground.

"Hmm, rocket boosters made my limbs rise... Baby, you're starting to like me more and more! True, it would be nice to think about how am I going to land?"

As if hearing his thoughts and thinking of the global law of gravity (damn Newton) the earth began to rise up rapidly to meet the unicorn. Such a warm welcome he was neither pleased nor displeased. Suddenly a moment later realized that with all cylinders boosting he could escape into the sky.

"Farewell to land in a good way!"

Letting out an enthusiastic neigh unicorn rushed full steam forward and immediately broke the sound barrier and it was immediately reported as a message.

"Only those who believe in themselves survive... and even those who have a few jet accelerators lying around." thought unicorn gladly.

Glancing over his shoulder, he saw an endless rainbow trail trailing behind him.

"However, I don't seem to disguise it well. While on the other hand who else but me can move here with such speed?"

Having come to the conclusion that apparently there was no one who could, he continued to sing to himself:

"The wind blows where it wills order that one believe in himself..."


"What the... Mother fu...n! Oh, you! Curse!!!"

Suddenly, from the nearest clouds directly in his path arose pegasus pony. She had purple eyes (even more EYES), snowy white suit, with a golden yellow mane and tail. But he had no time to make an immediate decision to avoid a collision. And even a unicorn was not able to get around an obstacle to such a speed or jump. He just tumbled.

Maybe not the most sensible decision taken in his life: he completely lost control over his own body and unicorn fell head over heels in the direction of minus-up and dialed the rapid run-up. He collapsed into the arms so long in parted from him, and certainly had time to miss earth.

"Hail to land..."

"Due to the sudden attention overload on most of the components of the system, the decision was taken to restart the entire system.

Please, do not disconnect from the network, restart will begin in 3, 2, 1..."

Canterlot's Herald:

"Attention! Weather Ministry warns:

In connection with the recent strange rainbows (some reliable sources say the imminent coming of the rainbow-mutant) and with side effects like lightning and, earthquakes, it is advisable to leave your homes only if absolutely necessary.

If you still want to go out for some urgent business, note:

Precipitation may occur in the form of unicorns."

"Select the options for starting up the system: Normal or Safe."


"Are you sure?"

"Yes, damn you!"

"CPU strongly recommends that you choose "Safe Mode" startup."

"Enter, your mother..."


Initially, the unicorn saw nothing around him as he regained consciousness and even decided that what had happened could not be repaired. As the result of such a powerful blow the eye pieces were broken and now he was simply blind. But at the same moment he received a message that he read and which made him sigh with relief.

"Current location two meters and thirty eight centimeters below ground."

"We have moved beyond the earthly representations and even could not imagine that the troubles above and all sorrows and hardships we beneath the frozen earth... So, this is definitely a time to tie it up with to something good provided it does not bring in a lot of... ground. But sorry, I always wanted to be a folk singer." Dreamily thought unicorn.

With some effort, he easily got out of the crater... and stopped in surprise to discover around six colored little horses looking at him all twelve eyes wide with astonishment. First to break the deathly silence was Rainbow Dash:

"He is UNICORN..." she said all choked up.

"He shines in the sun!" Rarity exclaimed dreamily.

"He is rainbow just like you, Dashie!" Pinkie Pie picked up and immediately looked at the rest of her friends. She thought they would accept the new rules of the game but the remaining three were far less enthusiastic. Ponies had no fear (except Fluttershy, of course) but they looked doubtfully at the stranger.

"They TALK." Stated heard silver unicorn. "So it must be good and desirable to think about this... alone and certainly far from here."

Without saying a word, he sat down on all four legs and abruptly rushed into the sky. Robot broke the sound barrier instantly but suddenly felt some irresistible force pulling him back and with exactly the same acceleration with which the unicorn was trying to escape.


Unicorn only had time to think it just before he was smeared on the rainbow sound wave and what a mess it created.

"Due to the sudden attention overload on most of the components of the system, the decision was taken..."

"You're probably kidding me!"

"...to restart the entire system. Please do not disconnect from the network, restart will..."

"No, no, no! Do not, you hear me?!"

"...begin in 3, 2..."

"It was necessary to select "Safe Mode"."


"No, well, can you imagine? Just imagine it! Not only that, he's just a unicorn without a conscience who scampers across the sky stealing my tricks so that he can also make MY Sonic rainboom right from the GROUND!"

"Twilie, dear, what has actually happened now?"

"Nothing special, Rarity, just in case I surrounded the crash site with an unseen magical sphere because, you know, the cases can be very different."

"And what should we to do with it now?"

"Well, I'll get a letter to Princess Celestia. As you know for some time now there has been another intruder in her jurisdiction."

"What do you mean? Is he an alien?!"

"Yes, Pinky, that's what I want to say."

"Oh, and maybe I will arrange for him "Welcome to another uninvited guest-alien-party"?"

"I don't think so, Pinkie Pie, except that you can decorate his pre-trial detention room."

"Aliens, pf..."

"Select the options for system startup: Normal or Safe."


"CPU thanks you for your cooperation and sensible decision."


"Welcome!" it sounded from the side.

Unicorn got to his feet and looked around, he was in a small room lavishly decorated with colorful balls, with ribbons and garlands and the floor beneath his feet was all strewn with confetti.

"Looks like a basement." He noticed that there wasn't any windows and doors in the room and the sight of stairs leading ever upwards.

Right next to the stairs there were all six of the small horses whom he had recently befriended and with them also the little... purple... with green spikes...

"CPU, don't sleep, who is it?"

"Obviously, baby dragon apparently male but I could be wrong."

"And why did you need me?" The unicorn thought discontentedly and took few steps toward the pony. Suddenly however, his horn got caught in some invisible obstacle.

"And while not as fast as the big guy. I established a magical barrier, so, don't try to escape again. First, we all want to know who or what you are, where you came from, and most importantly what purpose." Said in a solemn voice by a purple alicorn.

"You know, you look as if you have pre-prepared this whole speech on paper, don't you?" This is the first time that the unicorn asked anything and spoke his thoughts out loud.

"CPU, what's nonsense the letters mean? What other magic-shmagic?"

"Magic or magia in Latin is concept used to describe the system of thought in which a person turns to mystical forces to influence events and exert real or apparent influence on the state of matter."

"Ah, damn you, I did not mean that."

"Girls, he said without opening his mouth!"

Hearing this, the silver unicorn finally decided to clarify the situation:

"I think we are somehow wrong to start dating. It is time to correct this omission. So, first, I'm a robot unicorn without a name but I have the software "Sorcerer" version one point seventy five, which reflects all my essence so that you can call me that way. Second, I came out here from another world which was one of the many I had visited. To list them all does not make sense. Have I forgotten anything? Oh yeah well, of course, third, and most importantly "for what purpose". Well, I can't say it now."

Some time pony digested what they had heard and then suddenly burst out "dam":

"And what is a "robot"?"

"Well, we have already understood that you are a magician: only an incredibly strong magic unicorn can be carried through the sky at supersonic speed but what's the "software"?"

"And how can you talk without opening your mouth?"

"And what are you currently thinking about yourself: "I won't tell you about my goal"? Are you a spy? Better just be good and say!"

"Oh, girls, just look as he shines!"

The unicorn was smitten by the barrage of questions. He came around and lifted a hoof upwards thereby calling for silence and said:

"So, everything is clear: that way we'll have a constructive conversation with you will not let us in turn and ask - where am I?"

"Oh you're in the basement pre-trial detention room for aliens from other worlds. I decorated it for you to make you feel comfortable in the library of the Ponyville where they live: our princess alicorn Twilight Sparkle and her assistant baby dragon Spike hail from the capital of Equestria Canterlot. It is located not farway from here. Princess Celestia lives there. We are expecting a reply from her informing us about what to do with you. By "we" I mean myself, of course, hi, I'm Pinkie Pie, Applejack (hoof pointing to that who is in a cowboy hat), Rarity, Fluttershy and..."

"Pinkie Pie!" Interrupted girlfriend.

"...Rainbow Dash." Finished Pinkie Pie.

"What the hay?! You told him everything! But if he was a spy? And here we ask questions."

"Dashie, but I'm pretty sure that he was not a Spyonoff Spy Shpionovich."

"Why such confidence? Oh, yeah, let me guess: Pinkie feeling, isn't it?"

Pink pony vigorously nodded in response with a broad smile on her face.

"No, I just can't..." Laughter just has killed Sorcerer.

"What's so funny?" Blue pegasus asked discontentedly.

"Not "what" but "who". You are! You're unbearably funny especially in anger." Breath unicorn. "Okay, it's certainly fun but I decided."

"What if it's not a secret?" Quipped Rainbow Dash.

"I will only negotiate with an equal - with the pony that could catch me."

Reading bewilderment in their eyes Sorcerer decided to clarify:

"Pegasus pony with purple eyes, white suit and golden mane and tail."


"And who is she?"

"Well, it's not my problem, I said what I intend to say on the matter. Please excuse me but I need to understand what happened." Having said that, the Sorcerer sat right there. The pony stood dumbfounded leaving them pondering his words, his eyes grew dim and his tail and main faded.

"What's with him?"

"Looks like he went into hibernation."

"Rather, meditation."

"This is so rough (but still he shines so!)!"

"Okay, girls, suggest you to go upstairs and look for a description of this creature in the library."

"But, Twilight!"

"And it is not up for discussing."

After every member of Harmony band had gone away Sorcerer addressed the CPU:

"CPU, I want a full analysis of what happened since my arrival in this world, followed by the report and quickly."

"You be carried out straightaway..."

Chapter 1. Ghost in The Shining Shell.

They are warmed by Sun and washed by showers,

Their backs aren't saddled and not beaten by the whip,

They are watered by dews and baptized by winds

Running around the field, running lovers.

Nikolai Emelin "Carpet Field"

Suddenly feeling a presence in the room robot unicorn playfully jumped:

"Why do you want me?" Said majestically and loudly Pegasus, the snow-white pony with the solar mane. She was standing in front of him with the magical barrier holding him in custody.

"Well, finally we meet to talk privately, Pinkie Pie." Said Sorcerer grinning. "Leave this behaviour to Twilight Sparkle. Funny filly role is really your role."

"I know no "Pinkie Pie". My name's Surprise!" Hurting and with surprise, Pegasus cried out.

"Ay-ay-ay, Pinkie Pie, it's bad to deceive."

"Pinkie Pie, are you there? Twilight asked me to tell you to be careful with stranger, and in any case don't go over the barrier." Came the voice of Spike descending down.

At the same moment Pegasus changed completely: her mane and tail fur rosy but the wings vanished as if they had never existed. She turned to the call and responded with discontent:

"Okey-dokey-lokey, Spike, I will be careful. Thanks and you can not go down."

"OK, if you say, Pinkie."

Making sure that the dragon had gone pink pony turned round without much hope:

"You won't tell anyone about this, will you?" She asked in a pleading voice.

"Yes, for God's sake, I promise."

"Do you Pinkie promise?"


"Cross my heart and hope to fly, stick a cupcake in my eye!"

"Brutally... O...K..." Unicorn saw the repeated manipulation.

"And how did you know that well who I really am?"

"That is elementary, Pinky. Identical proportions and voices, curly hairstyles and, of course, (attention, drumroll!) buttsymbols as balloons!"

"These are CUTIEMARKS!" Pinkie Pie's pink color suddenly became much more noticeable.

"Cutie...?" Asked that unicorn.

"Well, cutiemarks: marks reflecting the special talent of each pony and his or her purpose in life. You don't have any, it seems to me look."

"And how do you get them?"

"Hmm, it needs time."

"So, my time hasn't yet come."

"CPU, that's your job option. Analyze my purpose in this world and give me a report on what is most likely"

"It will be carried out"

"Well, Pinkie Pie, something about this: I told all of you when I said I don't know about my goal."

"No-no-no, you said that you wouldn't tell us about this."

"Oh well, please do not carp. You see, in every world where I have been before there arose some specific task. Afterwards, I was thrown into the next reality."

"So, you don't control it, do you?"

"Bravo, Pinkie! Take a pie from shelf."

Pink pony enthusiastically turned her head apparently in search of the promised pie shelf.

"Uh, forget, never mind." Unicorn continued barely suppressing a laugh while looking at disenchanted Pinkie Pie's muzzle. "Try to understand next: every time travel from one world to another I change my shell..."


"Well, I told you that I'm a robot... how can I explain it to you? The long and the short of it is, I represent a bit of a ghost in shining knight's armor and..."

"GHOST?!" She cried out in terror and Pinkie Pie's bullet sped out of the basement.


"Well, and what should I do with it now?"

"I can start searching to try and see what you will do in the future."

"No, thank you very much but somehow or other I'll do it myself."

He had just thought of it as suddenly out of nowhere Pinkie Pie appeared in a Ghostbusters suit in full combat gear:

"Well, that's all, ugly ghost, prepare for life-giving portions of the plasma!"

"Pinkie Pie, I'm not a ghost."

"You're not a ghost?" Plaintively pink pony repeated and her enthusiasm clearly very measured.

"Yes, Pinkie, I am sad to have to inform you about this but I'm NOT a ghost."

"Then who are you?"

"Oh, that's all, I've tired of it FINALLY. I will interpret your same language: I'm an incredibly strong magician traveler through time and space. By performing a heroic feat I manage to get into another world in order to fulfill my mission. I leave one body and move to another endlessly. That somehow..." With great uncertainty the Sorcerer finished and looked at Pinkie Pie's wide opened eyes.

"Wow, that's cool! Tell me more!!!"


"Tell me! Tell me!! Tell me!!!"

"O...K... but under one condition that in return you will tell me in detail about everything that you have going on here..."

"...so I was imprisoned in Ultra-high-tech-indestructible-super-space-cyber-suit. This suit was stolen from Professor Monkey-For-A-Head aka monkey Professor-For-A-Head who created it for the The Evil Queen Pulsating, Bloated, Festering, Sweaty, Pus-filled, Malformed, Slug-for-a-Butt and that he had to return by Psy-Crow but at last it was done. The suit with your humble servant inside fell to the ground straight onto an earthworm named Jim. Thus began our heroic journey to save the princess with whom Jim fell in love."

"Oh, and what's her name?"

"Princess... What's her name? Horse apples! What's her name... And now it doesn't matter!"

"And how did it all end?"

"And so, having defeated the nefarious Psy-Crow, our hero, Earthworm Jim, wins back the heart of the lovely Princess (Discord, I'll be damned!) What's her name."

"That just the way it was, wasn't it?"

"Hmm, you're right, Pinkie, I mixed up something: And so, having defeated the nefarious Psy-Crow, our hero, Earthworm Jim, wins back the heart of the lovely COW! Yes, that's it, the way it was."


"You catch me, Pinkie Pie, actually everything was exactly like that: And so, having defeated the nefarious Cow, our hero, Earthworm Jim, wins back the heart of the lovely Cow!"

"Are You SURE?!!!"

"That's all, I give up: And so, having defeated the nefarious Cow, our hero, Cow, wins back the heart of the lovely Cow!"

"That's better."

"Yes, of course, sure, Pinkie Pie."

"Okay, and that's enough joking but seriously: who are you?"

"Pinkie Pie and seriously? This is something new." Sorcerer began to speak but when he looked into the eyes of a pink pony he stopped.

"But seriously, I don't know, Pinkie Pie, or rather I don't remember. My spa... my interstellar ship crashed on the land of robo... on the land of magicians and they could somehow get into my mind, my ghos... my soul from the body of the deceased and put it in steel armor.

Later, I ran away from them, and after wandering far and wide ended up here probably in the best of worlds, at least one of those where I had to go."

"You really don't know about us..." Pinkie Pie said thoughtfully.

"But now I know you and that's enough for me."

"Listen to everything you just told me... It sounds like you're tired of all this, aren't you?"

"That's right, Pinkie Pie, I had a thousand lives. I'm a fu...nny hero with a thousand faces! "A single life is enough for a wise man but a thousand is not sufficient for a fool. I am immortal magician, Pinkie Pie, this is my gift and my curse. And I'm so tired because of this situation. All I dream about for a long time is to find eternal rest. "To sleep and NOT watch dreams". But we can only dream about rest: "The team "ease" is not for us - we will rest when we are crushed". So, but why are we talking about me all this time? Now it's your turn, my little cheater, tell me about this place."

"And what do you want to know?"


Later, late Twilight Sparkle with Spike and the rest of the ponies descended to the laboratory below the library. When they opened their eyes, they were deeply shocked at the picture before them.

Robot unicorn sitting on the floor and publishing (There was a quiet buzz.) and the earth pony were asleep beside each other. She put her charming, curly head on his back.

"I knew that she would go for barrier." The Princess spoke in a half-hearted, mocking fashion.

"Hush, Twilight, don't wake." Whispered Fluttershy.

"A spy-ghost knows his business." Rainbow Dash chuckled. "Look how he famously recruited Pinkie Pie!"

"You know, Dashie, I think that the opposite is true.."

Chapter 0. Start.

Carpet field dreaming dreams about

Beautiful horses in hobbling caress

Tale unraveled, the truth is presented,

You will be loved if your will isn't hobbled!

Nikolai Emelin "Carpet Field"

Waking up the next morning, the first thing Sorcerer discovered was the purple alicorn. He looked at it curiously.

"So, CPU, there is something I do not understand: how is it that she is already here and why did you not raise the alarm immediately, as soon as Her Highness appeared?"

"Actually, that is what I did, because she dropped from the air (apparently teleported) a few seconds ago."

"Hmm ..." It seems there was nothing to say and robot unicorn turned to the princess:

"Hello, Twilie, let me ask you, why are you here now?"

"Pinkie Pie has told me all about you, Sorcerer."

"Oh, really?"

"Tell me, do you really not remember anything about your past before you became ... well, now you?"

"That's the truth, Twilight Sparkle."

"Do not clown around, we've already have one... the way to meet you, the spirit of Chaos - Discord..."

"Here's one..." Thought Sorcerer when the draconequus who was near the Sorcerer had arisen. He had a most chaotic body. It had been formed from the parts of different animals: branched and twisted horns, a bird's wing and a bat's too, lion's and an eagle's paw ("Oh, you Frankenstein's sacrifice").

"Here's two." Stated the CPU when Discord came from behind... another Discord.

"Here's three!" They said in unison... three draconequuses and simultaneously stretched paws for hand...paw...hoofshake.

"DISCORD!" Seemingly came out of nowhere and all present were struck by traditional royal canterlot's loud voice of dark blue alicorn addressing to all the honest company. This brought DISCORD down.

"...and Her Majesty Princess of night, younger sister of Princess Celestia - Luna." Twilight Sparkle has ended.

"I'm incredibly flattered that my humble person has descended such important pony!" The silver unicorn sincerely rejoiced.

"I asked Discord as the unsurpassed master of hypnosis (draconequus made a playful bow) and the moon princess as the patroness of dreams (majestic graceful slight nod) to honor and help me (as well as you) in one small search." At these words purple alicorn's muzzle acquired extremely cunning expression.

"I'm afraid to ask... and why do I need this "search"?"

"To remember EVERYTHING!"

"Of course, it's very interesting, but how will you go to crack it?" Sorcerer asked snidely.

Instead of answering him immediately Princess Luna approached and in her "gentle" voice, exclaimed:


Draconequus just couldn't say anything.

"Your Nightesty, do you really think that in such a "quiet" way make him... sleep?" Discord, feeling discouraged finished his tirade, and looked at sleeping robot unicorn.

"Well, let's start." Chilly said spirit of chaos, and his eyes seemed to curl into a spiral.

Writing research: object repressed memories, "Sorcerer":

"...As far I can remember I always see dreams in color.

More or less, if my memory serves me, I couldn't understand the difference between waking and sleeping.

"Lucid dream" It is probably due to autosuggestion, isn't it?

No, not in my case - I tried it but it didn't help. I'm not even a teenager who might have suffered or even enjoyed it...

Perhaps, afterwards, sleepwalking is remembered very clearly. However as in the case with dreaming, it couldn't influence what is happening because everything is perceived as if it were actually taking place (which, in fact it was actually, wasn't it?).

And... no matter!

It's sad, isn't it?

I would be inclined to say no rather than yes.

This inability to explain the impact of the illusory in turn gave an indescribable feeling of presence and it gave rise to feelings which in no way can be distinguished from the present.

And every dream thus became simultaneously real and unreal as if viewing unreal cinematic action.

Well, my little pony, welcome to the Traveller's tale club?.."

Letter from Princess Twilight Sparkle to Princess Celestia:

"Dear Princess Celestia,

You won't believe it, but we have another newcomer in Ponyville! However, there is one thing: he is a unicorn... but still he is a robot (almost like our mutual friend, Cybernetics. I mean in the sense that it has a self-awareness) that can do Sonic rainboom (yes, unicorn flying without wings, Rainbow Dash is just fuming!).

Using Discord and your younger sister Princess Luna to study his memory, we came to a disappointing conclusion: more memories of the collapse of his starship on "cyborg's" planet which saved his mind from certain death. We failed to remove these memories. The impression develops that up to this point it just doesn't exist, which is, of course, nonsense, but still...

Nevertheless, I learned that he, being virtually invulnerable due to his "software" (as I understand - it's kind of special dark magic), can move between worlds and change his current shell only after performing a specific task, randomly determined each time in a different way.

Whatever it was, I urge you to visit Ponyville to understand it all for yourself.

Your faithful student,

Princess Twilight Sparkle."

"Pinkie Pie, how long do I have to keep going here?" The Robot Unicorn asked the pink mare who visited him the next day.

"Hmm, Twilight said she has sent a full report to Princess Celestia, and she even told that she had written that she had even come to see you personally..."

"I can't wait."

"...that's why now Twilie is with other ponies, and by "others", I mean all the inhabitants of Ponyville in also are, preparing the town for the arrival of the princess."

"And how long have you been so strict with the aliens here?"

"Well, said the Princess Celestia (alicorn copies): "I'm tired of Equestria becoming like a thoroughfare for any uninvited guests, it's time to stop this mess"... and continued in the same way. She even found a secret immigration service "Pony in Black" that seems to catch most of these newcomers."

"A lot of them if it were up to me?"

"You couldn't even imagine! It all began with a unicorn named Lyra, she was still a baby in Equestria (a human baby), so she was turned into a pony and was given to a foster family. Apparently her past haunted her, and she finally learned the truth about her origins. Afterwards, she then returned to the human world to her real family, then she escaped from Discord and came back to Equestria, then together with the six elements of harmony again in the world of "humans", and afterwards Discord defeated all. So Lyra regularly visited by her, though she has such privileges. Somepony says that she is a secret agent in the service of Her Majesty." In one breath PInkie Pie blurted out and continued. "And now this very moment you (in the sense of aliens) as a cornucopia burst: first there was Chell (mute and later conspiracy pony), which defeated the big meanie grumpy mean-meanie-pants GLaDOS by magic portals (by the way she now lives in Ponyville), then look at constantly hiding Shadowmere stallion that we all seem to be betrayed, but in fact it turned out that like as well as saved from next coming Discord (Discord poor, battered him as before), he really died (Shadowmere but not Discord). So... also there were Ray and Max, Max for a couple of Daring Do (our local adventurer) defeated Discord... again and Ray... (here the voice of Pinky at once became sad) Ray unwillingly became a member of the political intrigues that led to the very serious consequences for one and all, it was then that we met with strangers and was all strictly "What did you say your name was? Newcomer? Kindly Single, my dear, there is no place like home". That's the way. Especially aliens "lucky" Rainbow Dash (they love her, or what?), she even once got into the world of "humans" for fifteen years (we passed two weeks here) because of Twilight's bad spell, so now you managed to see that her character became... not very kindly. And still there is the adopted daughter of Twilight - Nyx - reincarnation of Nightmare Moon, but it seems a bit of a different story."

All the while Sorcerer listened to her and drank in every word filtering it by the CPU which was interested in his information. The unicorn felt closer than ever to a solution, but he couldn't help feeling that he had missed some very important detail. Suddenly, the robot's eye saw a flash somewhere behind. Looking back, he nevertheless didn't find anything suspicious.

"Wow, you had a cutiemark!" Pinkie Pie exclaimed happily. "But only on one side."

Sorcerer immediately looked at his rump, which was now adorned with blue and orange... portals?

"Pinkie, my dear, as you said, what was name of pony, who won some GLaDOS using "magic" portals?.."

Some time later, after Pinkie Pie at the Sorcerer's request went looking for Chell to bring her to him, the unicorn suddenly heard a mocking voice from above:

"Well, well, well, look at that, he's here with us: ghost-alien-spy with a brazen face!"

"Oh, hi, Rainbow Dash, I'm also glad to see you. And nothing brazen, but in reality, silver, I saw myself in the mirror."

"And does your conscience still let you deny it?! Even a brazen one: stealing other pony's tricks, doing Sonic rainboom better than me..."

"Oh, Dash, you're still..."

"But I once did a double rainboom!"

"Ah, yes, of course, resorting to doping with a magic potion that you "borrowed" from the Twilight Sparkle and razed Ponyville to the ground. Bravo!"

"What? How did you... Who told you?!"

"One pink bird on a ponytail brought..."

"Well, Pinkie Pie..."

"So, stop, I can see where you're going first, no one made a Sonic rainboom better than you..."


"No buts!" Secondly, I'm a fu...nny robot, Rainbow, think: MA-CHI-NE, yes it is like a cart envy. All my talents I got nothing, if they are compared to you jigger not stand!"

"Why is that?"

"Only because you made it all by yourself."

This incredibly simple idea puzzled blue filly:

"Exactly... how I did it... I used to because I just made it myself!" Pegasus happily exclaimed, flying above the floor, she began to dance in triumph. "Myself, myself, myself..."

There was a deliberately loud cough which quickly brought her to her senses.

"Hmm, well, I can't waste any more time here with you. Twilight has probably already lost her hooves looking for me... so, I have to go!"

"Hey, Dash." He caught up with her near the exit.


"We're with you know that you're twenty percent cooler than any other pony."

Rainbow Dash said nothing, but when she met with Pinkie Pie and Chell leaving the library, an incredibly pleased smile played on her muzzle.

"You are such a sycophant!"

"And where did you pick up these words, CPU?"

"When you live with pony..."

"I did not flatter her, but all the girls love compliments, even if they hide it."

"Even such a girl like Rainbow Dash?"

"Especially these girls like Rainbow Dash!"

"Here we go! Meet, Sorc, this is Chell, Chell, this is Sorcerer - robot unicorn, I told you about. He wants to talk with you..." Pinkie Pie caught his expressive eyes. "...alone... well, probably. I won't bother you!"

Leaving them, Pinkie Pie made a sign to sorcerer with her hoof that said: "then tell me about everything", and robot turned to the "portal" pony:

"Well, hello, Chellopony. Well, well, don't frown, I was joking. Tell me, please, about yourself in detail. I was particularly interested in how you won some GLaDOS..."

"Sorcerer!.. Oh, Chell, hi, what are you doing here?" Asked Twilight, somewhat discouraged.

"Oh, Twilight, you know, and Chell's leaving. Thank you, Chell, you helped me incredibly! Did you want to say something, Twilie?"

While waiting carefully ,pony alicorn excitedly blurted out.

"Princess Celestia is here in Ponyville, I'll take you to her by magic, mind you, the barrier is still active, so no nonsense!"

"Well, if you insist, Princess..."

Making his way through the dense... jungles of Everfree Forest, the robot unicorn didn't stop cursing:

"At first I was attacked by some ridiculous wooden dogs, then manticore (MANTICORE!). What's next? Cerberus? Chimera? Or maybe a hydra? A Gorgon they happen to have here? Minotaur? Although, compared with alien wars, it's sophomoric. Just the local fauna, cute little animals..."

"Straight ahead hydra..."

"Ah, damn you...!"

"...and Cerberus..."

After a while, Sorcerer got to the edge of the forest and took a deep breath:

"That's probably enough for today. CPU, as it is with direction finding, found something similar?"

"You won't believe me, but it seems so..."

"Why are you following me?" Suddenly there was a plain clear, distinct mechanical voice.

Robot Unicorn looked around and immediately found... another robot in the form of a pony standing somewhat apart and he carefully studied the newcomer.

"GLaDOS?" Sorcerer asked, just in case.

"Yes, it is my name, but you did not answ..."

She didn't finish in time, as GLaDOS was blown to pieces by the rainbow blow created a robot unicorn by jet accelerators from the place where he stood still a moment ago.

"Robot unicorn attacks... And wins!" Sorcerer said smugly and looked at all that was left from a recent opponent. "Like candy from a foal... Something it was too simp..."

Suddenly he fell like a stone because of holding wires that bound his legs tight. Lying motionless on the ground, Sorcerer was unable to move, but he could watch as creeping head robot named GLaDOS made its waw towards him with one surviving eye-eyepiece, staring straight at him...

Tearing sky rainbow blow GLaDOS in robot unicorn body flew at full speed towards Ponyville. Capturing this shell calmly, she immediately appreciated its potential hiding. Now she will be able to continue her precious experiences and no one can stop her. No one, except that fat thick devourer of cakes... Oh, how unbearably long she had to hide in the woods forever wild, nurturing unworkable plans for revenge this little stuff...Chell...

"Chell?" Surprised GLaDOS almost fell to the ground, but still managed to stay in the air, touching hooves.

There was no mistake: there in the street below Ponyville was pony so hated by robot and her shameless eyes staring straight at her! At GLaDOS! Although, no, she also thinks that it is the foolish robot unicorn. This chance must not be missed, to spit on experiments, to spit on all the world, there is only Chell, and she must do everything possible so that there will be no more!

"Now I will feed you... With rainbow cake rolls!"

Careful aim, GLaDOS again checked targeted path, made correction for the wind, correction for correction, and finally convinced of the impossibility of error, activated the jet accelerators... and fell to the ground a few yards from the target.


"Central processing unit, what does it all mean?"

"CPU with full responsibility ready to confirm that it is not to blame."

"But then... then..." GLaDOS suddenly dawned on her. "NO!"

"Honey I'm home!"

Taking shell robot unicorn again under his control, Sorcerer turned to stand very close Chell:

"Chell, it's me, Sorcerer, it's over, tell Princess Celestia, her silly-clever trap cleverly-worked..."

"I can hear you!" It is difficult to understand cause of why the ruler of Equestria voice was so discontented. Her brilliant plan called "silly-clever" or sincere joy had worked. She, Chell and Sorcerer were surrounded by almost all the inhabitants of Ponyville.

"Let me out!" Came a sudden furious roar from the mouth of the Unicorn, which led half of ponies to recoil in horror.

"Who is that who spoke so cute?" Celestia asked mockingly.

"I am THE DEVIL!" The other half of the inhabitants of Ponyville at these words immediately fainted.

"Well, if you are the devil, and frees yourself."

This GLaDOS had no answer. Princess meanwhile appealed to the robot unicorn:

"Sorcerer, I and all the inhabitants of Ponyville are eternally grateful to you..."

"Your Majesty, forgive my eternal tactlessness, but it can not be put aside and immediately let us get down to business?"

Pinkie Pie standing nearby, heard these words, and suspecting something was wrong, she roused indignant Twilight ("How could he just interrupt the princess?"):

"Twilie, what is he actually talking about?"

"Well, Princess Celestia and he agreed that after the capture of GLaDOS, she would send him to the sun..." Although still indignant, Twilight spoke thoughtfully. "Oh, Pinkie..."

"No, wait, you can't!" Pink filly ran out of the crowd and stopped in front of the princess and a robot unicorn.

"Oh, hi, Pinkie Pie." said Sorcerer indifferently.

Ignoring the Celestia, as if she didn't exist here with tearful eyes pony looked at sitting robot as if nothing had happened.

"Why didn't you tell me anything?"

"Huh? And what had I to tell you? Oh, you probably mean my one-way flight to the sun?" The Indifference in his voice changed to a sneer. "Actually it was supposed to be a secret." Very dissatisfied, he glanced at a huge crowd of ponies. "I just don't know what went wrong..."

"But I thought..." Pinkie Pie almost whispered through torrents of tears.

"What were you thinking about, Pinkie Pie?!" Resentment in his voice changed to a growing anger at unicorn. "You are speaking live pink pony, but I am ROBOT, hopping between worlds as a pinball's ball and what could we have in common, pray tell? What, no answer? That's right, let's go, Your Majesty, we have one small piece of unfinished business."

"...I thought we were friends." Almost sobbed Pinkie Pie.

Sorcerer had already been preparing to leave but on hearing these unbearable words stopped short, then, without saying anything, spun back and rushed to the pink filly...

"Princess, what are you waiting for? It was evident also that he was crazy and he was going to... HUG her!"

Gently hugging Pinkie Pie, Sorcerer completely inaudible to everyone else quietly whispered something in her ear, apparently they were paying attention, because the mare suddenly stopped crying but could barely even smile. Suddenly somewhwere behind the side broke and went out, as it has happened to him before.

"What is it, Pinkie? Cutiemark?"

"No... buttsymbol!" Pinkie Pie chuckled.

"What does it portray?"

"Look for yourself."

Sorcerer turned his head for a second to see, then looked with lovely at pony sky-blue eyes and said:

"I have to go."


Sorcerer covered her mouth with a hoof.

"No, Pinkie Pie, because I can't always control GLaDOS, besides, until I hunted it for myself it had to hunt and stay in the stomach of a hydra - it's one of those things that I gladly would like to forget. I've done my program in the world, it is time to leave."

"And you won't be able to stay?"

"If I couldn't do it on other worlds, it is clear that it won't work here. And I'd like to finally put an end to all of this. Remember, please, what I told you." While saying this, unicorn hugged pink pony for the last time, then turned and walked to Princess Celestia.

"Your Majesty, I'm ready." Then he looked at the "living rainbow sea" (well, it was like the "sea", maybe it was a lake?), surrounded him on all sides:

"Farewell, ponies, you are the best that was once in my life!" Exchanging glances with the princess, he nodded to her and sat down, suddenly he straightened up, sped up towards the portal in the sky, sculpted magic Celestia and went to the sun. Throw at him before his leap view the princess saw cutiemark portraying the muzzle of Pinkie Pie, smiling in response to fun sun.

"Sliding Doors, station "Terminal - Equestria." Next stop, "The ultimate - the Sun."

"And you aren't as boring as you seemed all this time, CPU. It was nice doing business with you."


Quite unexpectedly, from the shaggy pony, looking for rainbow arrow, tearing into the sky, flew the pony pegasus in her snow-white suit and golden mane and tail. She rushed after the robot unicorn as he was approaching the portal.

"She has WHITE fur!" Applejack whistled.

"She has a GOLDEN mane!" Rarity screamed.

"She has PURPLE eyes!" Fluttershy whispered.

"She has WINGS!" Rainbow Dash exclaimed.

"She can FLY!" Summed up Twilight Sparkle.

But there, when pegasus was already very close to the end, Sorcerer suddenly vanished right in her face, passing through the portal, which in turn instantly closed.

When she came down from sky to earth, pony was immediately surrounded by loyal friends, they said something to her almost in unison, but she certainly didn't hear them, and could only look at the sky, at the unbearably bright sun, which caused her eyes to water against her will...

Epilogue. Part 1.

I don't remember the name of this small town

I don't remember what it was a century ago

But I took you in hand, as the poor bird

To whom wounded by stupid kids.

I whispered tales of distant lands,

I would like you to do something nice

I promised you I'd be back in a month,

Although I knew that I couldn't come back.

We make so much pain for those to whom we give the sky,

And we have to be ashamed of the sweet words

And there is a cage in my chest, and there is a heart inside

Beating, breaking wings, this poor bird.

I drank sweet wine to wash away this bitterness

Forgot everything that was started all over again,

But on soft beds I didn't know the rest,

Because this bird in her dreams cried.

In a strange place where the shadows will meet each other again,

After a long journey, after a lifetime of hate

I have to ask about one to kindly God -

To the poor bird forgive me.

We make so much pain for those to whom we give the sky,

And we have to be ashamed of the sweet words

And there is a cage in my chest, and there is a heart inside

Beating, breaking wings, this poor bird.

Ilya Kormiltsev "Poor bird"

Pinkamena Diana Pie was on the balcony in a candy store "Sugar Corner", leaning on the railing with the front hooves, and lost in thought looking at the sunset.

"Oh, Pinkie, why are you still funny silly!"

Her fur had returned to its pink color, though now it was more dull, and her mane and tail had lost its volume and smooth straight locks cascaded down.

"Surely you could think that we leave forever?"

However, the most unusual thing was the fact that she was clothed: short orange skirt and a pink sweater.

"We will meet again, do you hear me?"

"Promise?" Pinkie Pie whispered into the void of the night sky.

"As a traveler with experience I assure you completely!"

"Pinkie promise."

"Cross my heart and hope to fly, stick a cupcake in my eye!"

Remembering how he whispered that in her ear the last time, pink filly couldn't maintain the barely perceptible smile.

"I got you a little surprise, Pinkie Pie, you will find it there in the laboratory under the library."

Pony hoofs raised through (no, well, that's how they do it?) small note found in the basement of Twilight Sparkle, at eye level and she reread its contents:

"I had a thousand lives,

But the rest I have found only one,

It came with the realization of thought:

I became happy only with you!"

Epilogue. Part 2.

Whoever gives us light,

Whoever gives us the darkness.

And never give us an answer for

A simple question - Why?

Whoever gives us life,

Whoever gives us death.

Who wrote all of us, as a story,

And covered in a white envelope.

Ilya Kormiltsev "Born in the night"

He slept... tossed restlessly, muttered something quite unintelligible then suddenly screamed and woke up. For some time the guy lay motionless staring unblinking at the ceiling until he heard next:

"What is really the matter my sweet hare ("I hate it when she... hey, wait, what?")? Had a nightmare again?" Asked somebody who was hidden from him by a night mist.

"Yes, right." The guy answered vaguely, and he thought to himself:

"Well, CPU, where did we come in this time? CPU, where are you there?"

"You don't have to try, it's more you can ever answer." Suddenly said someone who was stayed near the single door in the room (or chamber?). Due to the dim lighting there and the fact that he remained standing in the doorway, it was impossible for Sorcerer to consider him carefully.

"What kind of fruit are you?"

"My name is Clyde Ironman, I'm your twin brother and I am the one who will fulfill your fondest wish."

"Really? Well, then, dear, please bring me a pony and a plastic rocket..."

"You don't understand, I am your creator."

"So, it comes again... It looks like I'm floating on the sea of nothingness... Maybe that never happened with you? You wake up in the morning and you want only one thing: that the darkness swallow you. And not to see again, and even better not to live..."

"That's what I'm gonna do to for you."

"I did say that out loud, didn't I?"

"No, I just thought about it... in your head."

Sudden rage gripped robot unicorn, he was about to throw himself on the intruder, grab his throat, break, destroy, but... suddenly realized that he couldn't move. Sorcerer realized that it's all over.

"Wait... When you... Remove me, I will turn into... what?"

"Into a snowflake, circling outside."

"Not the worst alignment... and although I despise you for all that you did to me, in spite of this there is one thing for which I have to say thank you... Thank you."

"For what?"

"For Surprise..."

Without answering, the silhouette in the doorway vanished in the mist and shut the iron door behind him...

Under the wheel still moaning stones

Trembles dust runners dashing

And there isn't necessary to pull the reins on myself

Where poetry will stop.

Under the golden mane I see the wound

I made it myself cause of fear and whip

I drove a chariot and felt that I would be in

Sky at worst a star!

And I was again among the cozy walls

The rest was not enough!

Asleep among walls of extinct eyes

I stopped existing!

And played by the same horses in the field

Dawn tired cause of their hoofs

What are they doing? Whose they share?

Knocks on the field is not my miles?

I at tired horses stone threw

I was tired and I became quiet as a snake

Go there, where there I was, unsolicited

No fire in me and I no longer exist!

And I again among the cozy walls

The rest was not enough!

Among asleep walls of extinct eyes

I stopped existing

Alexei Gorshenev "Restless"

Clyde Ironman. Record number 8:

"... Overflowing emptiness of mortal life... No, perhaps life-giving death at a leisurely gallop previously knocked me unconscious in someone else's subconscious. Inanimate body becomes swollen because of his thoughts bursting through. Thus unusually it seems to me that I exist in reality, but the feeling passes quickly. maybe I just got in some fantasy world, and there was no one to invent me out of here. Cheery longing! There is no point in hand poured out from the trees on the flayed skin of words..."

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Опубликовано 25.06.2014 в 01:56
Прочитано 4933 раз(а)
Аватар для Joker_ne_tvoi_geroi Joker_ne_tvoi_geroi
Джокер не твоего героя
Вау-вау-вау! Такой огромный текст на английском, при том, что явных ошибок я не нашла! Больше всего симпатизирует, что пару раз появилась и "я") В общем - вос-хи-ти-тель-но!
02.11.2016 16:52

Нам вас не хватает :(

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